Preseason SportsBot Part 2

It’s good to be back. First off, we would love to thank Derek Fisher, Billy Hunter, and David Stern for painfully pounding out the new collective bargaining agreement between the NBPA and NBA. We, the fans, are so happy that the players were able to get their 51.2% of the revenue. Who knows how they would have fed their families with anything less…
Tonight is game night! With all the recent changes in the Jazz organization we could probably spend a lot of time talking logistics, but that would be boring. Instead, let’s just take a look as to why the Jazz are going to help the Lakers achieve a solid 0-3 start, and consistently dominate throughout the season.

Youth. 3 sophomores. 2 rookies. 70% of the Jazz are under the age of 28. Shortened condensed season. Advantage, Jazz.
Jeff Hornacek. Did you ever see that guy play? Rumor has it that he’s an even better assistant coach than was a player.
Jazz fans. We’re the meanest, loudest, most loyal fans everrr!
Paul Millsap. He makes the Miami Heat look foolish.
No Deron Williams to ruin our team.
Derrick Favors. He’s the next Karl Malone.
Green Uniforms. The Jazz always win in green.
Gordon Hayward. He’s a tall, young, skinny, white kid! Remember when he owned Kobe at the end of last season? Expect more of that this year.
Jazz Jam Championships. Without halftime slam dunk contests all would be lost.

Tonight all of our dreams come true!

GO Jazz!!!!

Preseason SportsBot Part 1

Now that the lockout is over, Doug and I can get back to writing about sports. Little known fact that even I just learned: UtahSportsBot was on a lockout with the NBA. But now we’re back! So without further ado, here are Nate’s top reasons the NBA is back! In no particular order:
The Utah Jazz!
Basketball on Christmas!
The Heat having to start their season watching the Mavericks receives their rings and banner!
The look on LeBron James’ face while that is happening
Basketball highlights on ESPN
The return of the Jazz Jam Championships! (Where Doug, Topher, Matt, me, and various other friends have slam dunk contests during the halftime of Jazz games. Is their a trophy? Yes. Yes, there is.)
Thinking about basketball so much every piece of trash becomes a basketball and every trash can it’s basket
Going to only one Jazz game in the entire season because the tickets are so expensive. Unless I get lucky again and Matt gets me another free ticket. What a great friend that kid is.
Watching every other game on T.V.
Paul Milsap’s jump shot
The inevitable point in the playoffs where the refs give the game away because the NBA would rather have the Lakers in the Finals than the Jazz
It’s going to be a great season! Go Jazz!